Tears of joy, tears of sorrow

Aug 2012
Reanne Jones

I am studying medicine at Brighton and Sussex Medical School, and live on the Isle of Man with my parents and older brother.When I am not studying I spend my time at the gym, probably not working out as much as I should, but preferring swimming and the whirlpool! I love listening to music and am the family DJ – regularly updating my parents’ music playlists and keeping them with it. I love to bake ‘melt in the middle’ chocolate puddings and I am a big rugby fan. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a doctor and I am enjoying every moment of that journey.


The 2010 BHMA student essay competition was for the best 1,500 word essay on the theme ‘The story of my illness’. There were 59 entries; most were good, some very good but the judges felt this essay was the best.

First Paragraph

The only statistics I could find were from 2009 stating that 316 babies died in the UK every year as a result of sudden infant death syndrome. In my calculations that meant that near enough every day, barring a few weekends, a mother somewhere in the UK woke to find her precious baby blue and lifeless. I spent most of my pregnant days fretting that if I did have my baby, if it even arrived alive, would it die too? The thought frightened the life out of me as I caressed my growing tummy and prayed that it would never be me. Five weeks after my baby Eva was born I had a dark sickening change of perception about cot death. I watched my husband cuddling Eva and thought ‘well at the end of the day if she did die, it wouldn’t actually be so bad’. Admitting that now makes me feel sick but I’m telling you this because you need to hear it. You need to know how I felt, so you can help people like me.